Alexa's Subway Excursion

   It was a dark, cold evening that night. The night my life changed forever. I had only glanced at the neon sign before making the decision that would alter my future: I'm eating at Subway tonight.

     I opened the door in a dramatic, slow-motion fashion, and I heard the sweet tinkle of the bell. I was instantly submerged in the appeasing perfume of baking bread. Now I had to make my next colassal decision of the evening: What am I going to eat?

    I perused the colorful menu, but I soon became overwhelmed by the vast amount options available to me. I walked down the line and delicately traced the window that separated me and the ingredients. As I peered down at the vibrant food items, I pondered an essential question: Where the heck did this come from?

    I started with the whole wheat crust, toasted of course. The rich scent of grains of the Old World never gets old to me. Ha. I pointed towards the heap of questionable cold cuts. Dubious of the animal source, I reasoned that it must be native to the Old World as well. I gazed at the ripening tomato slices and peppers. The New World has really outdone itself this time. The glistening onions called out for me next. These onions spoke to me, explaining their perilous travels to get to Subway from the Old World. Before I could hand over the crisp five dollar bill, I requested one olive  from the Old World to be placed inside this wonderful concoction. I sat down at the uneven table and took one bite of the glorious sandwich. Than everything went wrong.

    What I had believed to be lettuce must have been mold, and that "olive" was most certainly a living spider. I spewed that garbage all over the place and sprinted hastily to bathroom, where I ran my mouth under the grimy tap. So much regret.

    Two weeks later, the doctor gave me the prognosis: the smallpox gave me three months to live. Thank you Subway, and thank you Old World for the smallpox.

 

"Hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife, and hide yo' Subway sandwiches."

 

by: Alexa R

 

Disclaimer: This article is 100% not true.